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Estatira

a poem written by my best friend (about me) a good few months ago

Silai is born as a crumb of sand in the hourglass

And because of her strong gravity she was forced to be stuck in the narrowest part of the glass

And when all the rays of light and glitter refracted in this small space

And incoming from the outside, gathered in this focal point of the ancient clock

It was impossible to determine to which side one should pass

And whether it was one and the same side indeed

And there was a problem, when a million other cracks started to gather above or below

Because the energy of light was so strong and the transfigured

Distorted in a small space under the strong gravity

It seemed impossible to stand under such pressure

And not go through to one side

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Words

I want to taste your words
Taste them and b  r  e  a  t  h  e them
Engulf myself in them, surround myself in them,
A whirling twirling haze of emotions and confusion
They talk to me, even when they aren’t

speaking
 

Close my eyelids, softly, s l o w l y
And wrap myself in the beauty of language
A beauty that transgresses beauty
A beauty that speaks a language of

longing.
 

I want to personify language

-meet him in a hidden alley
we read and speak and –

 

I want to cry at the sound of his sorrow

and laugh at the sound of his joy and

taste him on the tip of my crimson tongue

 

If I could taste your words

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Emptyness

I hide behind the biggest lie,
deceit etched and carved into my soul.
Nothing confronts me, nothing tries,
Not even the spirit of time
as it flies into an an abyss of dark coal
and back.
The delicate wings of understanding caress me
But I do not deserve her ethereal patience.
She feeds me honey-sweet droplets of real love
But I devour the warmth until all’s but cold.

I understand beyond the point of understanding
And think beyond the point of thinking
Until the nothingness I’m made of provokes me,
and tells me that
I’ll stay forever without growing weak or

old

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Roads of Fate

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you!”

Sometimes, you are faced with decisions so important, so powerful that your whole life is at stake. It’s not always clear; it could just be the matter of taking the left path or the path. The decision is yours, the rest is fate.

Fate.

Fate.

The words pounded in my head again and again- sending me into a dizzied frenzy. Was this it? Was this my fate?

“Happy birthday Silai, happy birthday to you!”

Faces grinned at me, eyes twinkling, and I returned the smile subconsciously.  My mind was in transition between different outcomes and different possibilities. Scenes played themselves in my imagination like short movies and I was in the front row; some were good, others bad.

“Make a wish Silai!” it was Emal. Loose brown curls framed his chubby face; he had Aiyla’s soft cheeks. Looking at Emal, I smiled; thank God I still had him.

“Okay baby bro.” I whispered softly, carefully taking in the eager faces of the people surrounding me; everyone I loved. Not everyone, I reminded myself, just short of a few people.  And then I looked around the hall, it was breath-taking; poor Flora must of paid a fortune for this. Rose coloured flower petals were lying around the shining wooden floor, accompanied by colourful confetti; elegant champagne-gold and red balloons floated around like clouds, each one offering rose petals when popped; a chandelier watched upon us, glistening and glittering like a thousand brilliant diamonds; windows offered stunning views of the lake – the lake reflecting the tall green trees and the lapis lazuli sky; the glistening water would ripple every few seconds, the circular patterns intricate and hypnotizing. The 3-tier cake was engraved with small, detailed roses and a border of fresh cream with strawberries sitting on top. The name Silai was written in elegant, swirly writing in the middle. It was perched on a delicate golden lace table-cloth, which in turn was on a small table in the middle of the room, surrounded by anticipating faces and stacks of overflowing presents.

“Hurry up Sil!” moaned Ira, a look of frustration evident on her face and I silently cursed myself; I was taking up everyone’s time.

Closing my eyes, I made the wish. And I prayed that God would accept it.

*******************

The party went on and so did the day. Presents were opened and pushed to the side. People came and left. There was laughter and tears. But amidst all the furious excitement and activity, my heart was somewhere else. It was at home.

5 years. I was sitting in my room, staring at the wall. It was a beautiful shade of red that Emal and I had chosen. Flora had disagreed at first but she warmed to it later. My gaze shifted to Emal, a peaceful expression on his face, his mouth was slightly open, his chest rising up and down softly as he slept. It had been 5 years since we had last been at home. 5 years since we’d seen Aiyla. 5 years since our life came tumbling down.

****

Things these days were perfect, too perfect. Life is an object thrown up high into the sky, it travels further and further up until it can’t go any higher; and at that momentous point in space and time, at that exact second, at that exact moment, life is at its best, it’s at the highest height it can reach; that is when life is perfect.

But –

only for a second, until it comes tumbling back down- faster than before – and makes a devastating impact with the ground. That is when life is shattered. I was lying if I said I wasn’t cautious. Of course I was. My life had been shattered and it was now even more fragile. You don’t see what I see and then blindly trust everyone. Trust had to be earned.

With Flora and Emal peacefully asleep, I seized the precious opportunity and carefully tiptoed my way downstairs into the living room.  My eyes scanned the cosy living space until they landed on the letter. Lying on the coffee table was a pale yellow un-opened envelope. I resisted the urge to run and grab it in full speed and, instead, walked slowly and cautiously, lifting the envelope as if it was a delicate piece of china. My eyes hungrily read the return address,

Aiyla Dawar

151, boulevard Hausmann

75008 Paris

France

And then, unable to contain the excitement, I opened the letter.

Zama khaista Silai, Happy Birthday. I hope it was great and that Flora didn’t go through too much trouble for you. Alhamdulillah Your 18 now! Woooh! I wish I could see how much you and Emal have grown. How is he? I know zamoonga mor or baba will be proud. Do you like the necklace? I bought it for your birthday…

I felt a bump in the envelope and took out the item.  A silver glint immediately caught my eye and holding it up to the light, I gasped. Words were unable capture its beauty. The necklace was lovely; a stunning, sky-blue crystal was held in a hand-engraved silver border which was attached to a sparkling silver chain and the letter S. Tears formed in my eyes as I admired it, contemplating the money my sister had paid to buy me this. With those thoughts, I went back to reading,

I hope you do. I miss you and Emal so much. I don’t think I’ll be staying in France much longer Sil. Things came up and I’m planning to move in a few weeks. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I just need to tell you in case you write back and I don’t reply. If I knew where, then I would’ve told you but sorry sis, I don’t. Keep me in your duas Sil, give Emal hugs and kisses from me and say thanks to Flora on my behalf.

Love you sis,

Aiyla x

Panting deeply, my hands tightly gripped the letter as I reread it again and again. Questions conjured in my mind at a terrifying speed, and the possible answers? Even more terrifying. And then, my road became blocked off. There was no longer a left path or a right path, just a straight road that I had no option but to take. Do you know when you’re so stuck between two choices, both as sensible, as appealing as the other, that you are unable to make the decision? Sometimes, something comes along and alters your options; something comes and eliminates your two choices, until all you can do is pray that you’re going the right way.  Because when you take the road, there is no going back, and what lies ahead for you is fate

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Markings

The markings on the ceiling swirled into each other, some became roses and others became laughing men. There was always that one swirl, that when observed from the right angle and with a slight squint, would turn itself into an elegant swan- It was always nestled in between the man with the pointed chin and the angry sun. Sometimes, feeling like my eyes were betraying me, I never saw the swan, or the man with the pointed chin, or the roses, or the angry sun, or the laughing men; just cream curls and swirls engraved on to the ceiling resembling nothing but elegant circles. It always made me wonder how weird life was- how Allah had given us all roles to fulfil. I wondered if the man who had imprinted the patterns into the ceiling had made them intentionally resemble faces and objects. I wondered if he know that centuries later a girl would stare at his work, trying to figure out the mysteries and puzzles behind the carvings. I wondered what my role in life was, what mark, what carving I would leave on this world. I wondered in wonder. The thoughts in my head were in a frantic really race, except there was no finish line. Sleep was the only thing I wanted, but my eyes and mind were in a furious battle- each one refusing to give in to the other. And with thoughts of the impact my life would leave running into thoughts of family and bloodied history running into thoughts of the journey lying ahead, I fell asleep, my thoughts becoming the mere confused curls and swirls engraved on the ceiling resembling nothing but elegant circles.

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My Factory

Jane liked to escape to her inner world of inconsistency where images and colours were more vivid and more real than that of her reality. Jane liked the colour orange. She liked wearing pale blue dresses and carrying around a soft red pillow. She liked Wednesdays because they were neutral and disliked Mondays because they were harsh and cruel. Jane liked black shoes with small heels that you could barely notice and stripy socks of a maximum of three colour combinations. Jane was anything but peculiar in nature. Her intense infatuation for all things lovely was a disease infecting similarly aged girls; it was a phase that would last between approximately two days to four years. Nothing to worry about, the doctor had said.

Simon was undergoing similar constraints; no matter how hard he tried, he could never fit inside a cardboard box. His parents were growing increasingly worried and attempted to show him to every doctor, psychologist, faith healer, mystic, priest, scientist, con artist, religious person, irreligious person, teacher, guide, journalist, lawyer, philosopher, hairdresser and, obviously, book writer but, unfortunately, their effort was in vain. He was a lost cause.

My factory was where Simon, Jane and Anthony befriended one another. They were the three outcasts, weirdos, outsiders and overall strange doers. Meeting one another gave them a false sense of security and comfort.

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Love filled venomous smiles

Love filled venomous smiles

facades upon masks upon layers of

dirt

a void of nothingness underneath

If we knew each other, we wouldn’t be friends

If we knew ourselves, we would self-destruct

willingly

 

I hate you

I hate you and you hate me and we can dance eternally in this spot of hate

 

Love filled venomous smiles

smiles full of venomous love

I dare you to kill me

I want you to rip my pulsating heart out and stab it exactly 72 times

drink the blood in 72 sips

resurrect me in 72 seconds

I’d wake up if you loved me

Look at me and love me

I hate you

I’ll forever hate you because I can never

love me

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happy

Such is life

So sad, so lonely,

My hypocritical friend-

Inside we feel so broken

 

Fragmented pieces of a lost soul

Wondering down that grey old road

Alone

 

A soundless cry, a lost

determination

The plight of a heart before annihilation

Squeeze life and turn it into death

Before we kill it again and again and

again

 

Such is life

So sad, so lonely,

My ugly friend

Inside we feel so broken

 

Hey take these pills they’ll make you happy

Hey take these pills they’ll make you happy

Hey take these pills they’ll make you happy

Hey take these pills they’ll make you happy

 

Hey take these pills they’ll make you better

Hey take these pills they’ll make you human

Hey take these pills so you can feel again

Hey take these pills so you can feel again

 

HEY TAKE THESE PILLS SO YOU CAN LOVE YOURSELF

HEY TAKE THESE PILLS SO YOU CAN LOVE YOURSELF

HEY TAKE THESE PILLS SO YOU CAN LOVE YOURSELF

HEY TAKE THESE PILLS SO YOU CAN LOVE YOURSELF

Hey take these pills they’ll make you happy

 

Such is life

So sad, so lonely,

My happy friend

Inside we feel so broken

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Us

You promised to love me forever

How can I be sure

That what you feel is not a lie

(you don’t know what love is)

 

Words become tedious-

I push you away everyday

A baby abandoning its mother

Only to cry for her milk the next day

need

 

I promise to love you forever

But how can I be sure

That what I feel is not a lie

(I don’t know what love is)

 

You are constant and I

I am an unpredictable storm of raging uncertainty drowning you in an ocean of melancholy and sadness

but-

you are never sad (you insist) until and unless I steal your heart and chew unforgivingly on its remains (i’m sorry)

 

You promised me forever

I promised you

a promise

Your love never wavers

But mine

It comes in waves – drifting in between instability and madness before settling at an unprecedented calm

Despite seeming so, it is never content.

 

I fill your head with dreams and fill your soul with

hopes

I poison you with need whilst you reap what I sow

You lie in my bed

I never lie in

yours

 

It was never real (I’m never sure)

It was all pretend (in my head?)

But what I feel

What I feel

 

Oh, what I feel –

 

I would trade all of the truths of this world and still be as sure

I would leave behind all that I have and all that is good and all that is familiar and still know for absolute certain that what I feel, right here, right now, in this moment and every moment still yet to arrive,

Is love

 

And the uncertainties in between are irrelevant freckles marking the soul

They are characteristic of the imperfect formation of union

They bear witness to validate our personal truth

They lay testimony to our discontinuous infinitum

We love each other.

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Smile

Take my fickle promise

I’ll exchange it for your heart

I never loved you

But I do now (I promise)

 

Mirrors reflect distortions

Glass portals into ourselves

 

You always loved me, you don’t

know me

You don’t know what love is

 

We’re pretending we can run away

When we’re locked inside this cage

Lost amidst our dreams

Let’s be lost

for another day (forever)

 

You lost your heart,

I’m trapped in mine

I might have stolen yours

So you’ll miss it

 

You never knew

That it was gone

Until I showed you what was

missing

 

Smile please (don’t cry)

Smile please (don’t cry)

It makes me happy

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I killed you

I wallow in your despair; I can’t

look into your eyes

or risk to gaze into your heart

because I’m afraid you love me

I look ahead

in hopeful dismay

 

I wallow in your despair,

My constant volatility setting alight your malnourished, third-world

heart

blowing it up again and again and again

You burn in the flames and I add more fuel

I throw the extinguisher away –

I am the extinguisher

 

I watch you die;

silent tears softly fall from the gentle clouds that are your

eyes

I like it when it rains

you know that.

 

You reach out in floundering desperation for my arms and I run  to comfort you but the distance becomes greater and greater with

every

single

small

step

I

take

until you

until you cease to exist as nothing but a soft, distant shadow blurring into the outline of nothingness, a relic of what once was, a distorted, hazy fragment of a version of a truthful lie locked in a box in a cupboard in a room in a house located in the part of my mind I never dare venture

 

I wallowed in your despair and I now

drown in the ashes of your heart.

 

 

 

 

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i

a pretender

egotistical self obsessed cesspit of nothing

utter darkness and despair

pity and self hate dancing till death

a fake a phone a scam a fraud

little flower withered and withering and withered

stamped upon

petals

a soul penetrated by the black plague

i

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When ~

When I was little

I was scared;

frightened by premature concepts and under-developed ideologies and people who do evil and smile and laugh and be happy like happy people

I was a happy person

It was confusing and it left me confused and confusing and unsure and the boy who did  those evil things is now a happy man who smiles and laughs and that makes me feel

no feeling

because unless I’m told how to feel and what to feel and why to feel, i don’t feel anything but everything because feeling is overbearing and meaningless and egotistical and confusing and i like to follow people because i have a small brain that can’t comprehend much or anything beyond me and myself and I so I smile and laugh and do evil things.

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Abbyss of Youth~

I was never there, you were always here

My empty smiles meant nothing but condolences

My soul’s starving, my mouth’s dry

My future is waving at me from a past life

Look in the mirror; see dark shadows

Sinister smiles unwavering like a shot arrow

Who are you? And who am I?

Your hearts beating but yesterday you died

I’m a billion atoms, my souls lost

Went to find it but my mind was so aloft

You try and listen, I never

can explain

Soulless words gushing down like acid rain

Unquenched thirst, drowning in hunger

We don’t grow wiser with age, we grow younger

I’m so happy, I’m so free

Life is beautiful hanging from this oak tree

She liked helping; she’d put her hands up

But she broke everything her hands touched

She liked promises she couldn’t keep

He liked dreams he couldn’t seek

Do you promise, to let me be?

Will you take the blindfold off and let me see?

Will you open your eyes and close mine to truth?

Age together as we stare into the abyss of youth

Un-Trustful trust and clear-cut confusion

This is a fantasy and Life’s my illusion

A long day filled with happy pain

I’m a vicious monster, the type that’s vain

On some strange days, my tears cry

On stranger days, my tears fall

On some strange days, my laughs sigh

On stranger days, my laughs drawl

I’m a free captive, I’m a white slave

I want to fly in the sky be the night slave

You speak words and they are without meaning

What’s the point of speaking when it’s without reason?

The sky is green, the grass blue

She looked at me and said “mish, nobody asked you”

Meaningless laughter, we’re made up of empty words

Say it again and again just lest we misheard

Lest we forget, we never will

Death is good, that’s why we should never kill

I’m a caged eagle, a bird that can’t fly

Go on a journey when you look into my damned eye

Do you promise, to let me be?

Will you take the blindfold off and let me see?

Will you open your eyes and close mine to truth

Age together as we stare into the abyss of youth

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In Souls~

Let’s trade in souls

Let’s walk on a suspended beam of infinite light and not look below;

only ahead

And let the light be our fate

And let peace be our state

Let heaven be below and heaven be above

and if we fly, we fly with doves

the bond that holds us –

it’s called

love

Let’s trade in souls

 

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The Dweling of Souls

Built by a Man with his own hands

A man full of Hope

and Love

and God.

A Man who spoke in the language of the Kings;

He built this  House.

And with him stood a woman, a Queen, who gave the house

Fire

Purpose

Life

She breathed into it her majestically delicate being

and weaved with her own tears clothes for the House.

Both Husband and Wife; King and Queen, Warriors of the Word, Conveyors of the Message,

Knowers of the Secret

Built this House.

An entity of it’s own

New Ruins

It welcomes me

with open arms

every time I visit

“Welcome Home

to the Dwelling of the Souls”

the trees bear bitter-sweet oranges in testimony of a time much harder much harder much harder for the Queen

for the Queen was persistent

The birds pray in the morning

The House laughs

with the children

and with the old

Blessings on top of Blessings on top of Blessings

Dirt on top of Dirt on top of Dirt

“What is a Human?” asked the King, repeatedly.

The King is now Dirt once again.

The Queen will soon be too.

The House is the Almighty’s Gift.

May it be that way forever~

Ameen.

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~

He was asleep in a dream when she woke him up. 
She chased him, ran after him to the edge of the world only to realize she was chasing herself.
They swam together in stars, finding a special key to unlock the mysteries of the universe. 

Love.

But they couldn't find the treasure chest. So they searched for it; together.
Featured

The Battle

Does anyone feel strangely disconnected from this reality, especially in certain, random times. As if they are spectators to their “selves” (which I believe we are – “the body is just a vehicle transporting your soul”)

And is this feeling intensified at certain random times? People speaking to you but they seem extremely far away and everything around you seems irrelevant; even words themselves, even “being” or “existing?”

Does anyone ever get spurts of intense excitement and/or anger/frustration, accompanied by the feeling of wanting to fly and feeling like a trapped bird in a cage? Your heart rate usually accelerates immensely and you become jumpy and giddy, ready to jump out of the first window you see and take flight. This “intense” feeling also randomly presents itself when you feel love, or are overcome with the goodness in humanity.

And then there are the times when you feel frustrated because you feel like there is a missing piece to the puzzle. When you feel like there is something right at the tip of your fingertips, something you’ve always known, something something something. And that something has all the answers to all the questions and the questions themselves frustrate you because you know there are more and so you search and search until your “self” crumbles in exhaustion. The universe is somehow inextricably linked and you know why and you know how but you’ve forgotten. So you beat yourself in an attempt to forget more – because remembering hurts your brain and requires effort. So you immerse yourself in this material reality; you play make believe with yourself. Your soul is infinitely old, your mind is a new born baby. The two worlds are in constant battle with one another.

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A Strange OBE Experience

I’ve been trying astral projection for almost a year now. The reason I said trying is because I only ever manage to get to intense vibrations, the “floaty”/”weightless” feeling and the hearing loud noises everywhere but it never progresses further from there, sadly. The closest I have ever gotten was also surprisingly my first time. I believe my inability to be successful so far is due to what point I am in life. I think that, in the future when I have maybe more positive energy and when I’m feeling less down and at a better place, It will be more straightforward.

Anyway, for a long while now (more than two years), nearly every night just before I fall asleep I feel like something is going inside my chest and sucking the energy out of me. It usually feels intense and scary but I always “fight it off” by saying a few prayers and focusing on conjuring all of my energy and pushing it away. So a few weeks ago I had woken up early and so around 10 pm, I decided to go back to sleep. I had just about fallen asleep when the usual started happening (feeling like something was going inside my chest and sucking the energy out of me), this time, however, instead of fighting it, I embraced it. I don’t know how to explain other than I didn’t oppress it and let it “come”. I did this because two nights before that morning, I was too tired to “fight it off” (it was 6 am or something) and when it entered me, my body randomly went into vibrations.

So that morning I wanted to re test and see if it would work again if I “let it in”and therefore I didn’t fight it off. In doing so, I was correct and within seconds my body, randomly, fell into intense vibrations (a stage of vibrations I usually achieve in AP after a good few mins of “soft/slow vibrations”) I felt happy and carefree and after at least a minute of my body just vibrating, I started to hear background noises. I felt like if I concentrated enough, I could tune myself into the background noise and make out what it was so I tried that and I suddenly started hearing birds singing. I don’t know how to explain, my eyes were wide open, my body was vibrating, it was winter and I lived in Scotland so I rarely ever got to hear birds chirping and singing. The strange thing is that the birds felt a million miles away but yet as if right in my ear.

(I think it would be beneficial to mention that I usually hear things before falling asleep (or sometimes just randomly) as if my brain is tuning into real life things happening around the world like a radio station. In those cases, I don’t feel scared/feel a certain feeling other than just feel like a spectator listening in. The same way in this particular case I hard the birds millions of miles away but in my head. This happens whenever my brain “tunes in”)

Anyway I wanted to be transported into the area where the birds were singing and I felt like if I closed my eyes, I would be there and that’s exactly what I did. That moment of closing my eyes went extremely slow, almost like a slowed down part in an action movie. I had barely closed my eyes when I felt like my hands were separating from my hands; I could just about make out whispy arms reaching and rising up from my normal ones and this is the weirdest thing, I could feel both hands and both movements. I honestly don’t know how to explain it and it’s been confusing me for a wee while now; I feel like I was rising up but yet I still felt my body on my bed. When my eyes had closed, I found myself in the most beautiful place ever and the signing of the birds intensified. There was a waterfall to the left of me and a forest (a rainforest I believe) on the right. I was standing in the middle on bright green (short grass). It was a clearing and there was sky above so the forest had obviously finished onto my right. The first thing that came into my head to do there was to start twirling on the grass (like a whirling dervish) Now this is where it becomes even weirder, the twirling was so real and intense and I just felt so happy and carefree, alive and dancing to the songs of the birds but strangely, as I opened my eyes, the image vanished (but the birds were still singing and the vibrations were still gong on) yet I still felt myself both spinning and lying in bed. I could feel myself lying there, I knew I was lying down but I could also feel another body twirling around. I could feel that feeling of dizzyness from the spinning. I honestly wish I can put this all into words but it seems almost impossible when I myself can’t understand how to explain what I felt. As soon as I closed my eyes again, I was back on the grass twirling and as soon as I opened them again, i was back in my bed but could hear the birds and feel my “other body” twirling and spinning. I wanted answers and I wanted to meet someone and so a thought came to my head; I should “conjure” up someone in the waterfall/grass/rainforest area to answer my questions and give me insight. I was hoping he’d be a beautiful man and so I tried, using my energy, on making a man appear who would explain everything. As soon as I tried making it happen, however, everything crashed down; the beautiful scene disappeared, the birds stopped singing, the vibrations stopped, all I saw was blackness and, opening my eyes, my “two” bodies were gone. It felt like I had crashed back down onto earth.

I know this sounds absolutely wild/or hard to comprehend but I fully don’t understand it either other than it was one of the most beautiful experiences I’ve had.

Vague thoughts

FeaturedVague thoughts

Narcissistic me reading thinking Dante Plato Rumi Socrates Aristotle philosophizing theories
Illuminati is
real illuminati is
fake illumati
is a metaphor for something bigger
And bigger and my mind gets
bigger as the questions build up and
rip steez and
rip peace
and humans are lost and humanity is searching and I am your saviour
And I am your killer and so extremely evil
I cry for society
And cry for myself
Contemplating the afterlife and contemplating end times and contemplating ending my life
But what am I and what are youand why are you reading and hello there nice to meet you what’s your name and what’s your story and why don’t you write something too and tell me about your life and your dreams and who you REALLY are
Go on
Why do I care
For suffering and emotions
So many emotions
And demons and vivid dreams and astral projection and astral reflections and similes
And life is a cycle, samsara, samsara
The caterpillar transforms
R.I.P Kafka and Gregor Samsa
and the Marxist revolutionaries
What are human limits and human theories?
Human interactions and and and
and words and words
Covering bluffing the truth
That night my soul shook and momentarily left my body, light blinding my eyes,
That feeling of lightness and freedom
What is freedom?
The end times will come when the mother gives birth to her slave
Cries of a slave child slaving as a slave child in country full of slaves
And the man with the fortunes killing himself because of un-satisfaction
The irony the hypocrisy the human sadness
Schools are money making manufacturing companies producing programmed products
You don’t conform? Oh daughter you better run
Oh daughters you better realize your potential as nurturers of this world
This world is mine
It is yours too if you want it
Do you want it?
Fleeting moments of anticipation
Thoughts of intellectual narcissism
She calls me “crazy” every day
Indigo Child
Isolationism
The USA subjected itself to that very practice selfishly to make paper
The world revolves around trees
monopoly
Human consumption
The screams of sheep’s in factories slaughtered abundantly for satisfaction of a people too busy dining on the delicacy of human heart
Triangles and symbolism and mysticism and thoughts engulfing me and you into a whirlpool of something
Something is going to happen.
Something Stuff stuff relentless stuff lack of proper punctuation
Winter is the coldest month he said
She liked reading
The wasteland is still a wasteland and baron full of bones and bodies and bishops
Smiles as venomous as the apple of Eden
They blame her for their mistake
Women selling themselves disguised as equality of rights what are women are you a man
The end times will come when the mother gives birth to her slave
And the smoke is in the sky
And people build buildings reaching to the heaven
We are in the Dante’s fourth hell
Lets climb back to heaven
I remember you!
My soul was fashioned at almost the exact possible time your soul was fashioned!
That is why you seem so familiar!
Come here old friend!
Moments of wild laughter hiding how lost humanity is and for a moment providing a temporary ethereal getaway into a perfect world
I am a child
I am old
Are you a child? Are you old too?
Have you fallen from the heaven too?
I am Indigo
Nice to meet you Indigo.
Welcome, old friend.

My response to a question regarding Sharia Law.

FeaturedMy response to a question regarding Sharia Law.

Sharia Law – Isn’t stoning for having sex outside marriage or chopping someone’s hands off for stealing bad? Why would a moderate religion have such harsh punishments?

Sharia law is very complicated. It’s not just a matter of “oh you stole, I’m going to chop your hands off” but rather it’s a law that requires much proof, evidence and is composed of many intricate and sub related rules in itself.

“Today, when we invoke the harsh punishments prescribed by Shariah [Islamic law] for a handful of offences, we rarely acknowledge the high standards of proof necessary for their implementation.” – Noah Feldman – Professor of Law at Harvard University

Yes, Islam does prescribe harsh punishments but from an Islamic perspective; they are justified. And yes, the punishments might seem “barbaric” in most cases but that is from the perspective of today’s ever changing society and today’s ever changing belief on crime and punishment. If we were to disregard our own current views and philosophy regarding the matter; we can come to the conclusion that Islam considers these punishments as a deterrent and a last resort to ward off suffering and other atrocities. It’s true that death is feared more than a short prison stay; therefore, from the Islamic perspective, these punishments are justified and used for the betterment of society. Unfortunately, no Islamic country in the world follows Sharia properly and therefore we cannot use cases like that of Pakistan where a girl killed herself after the man who raped her was set free and the many examples that follow suit. Under Sharia, that isn’t permissible yet countries like Pakistan/other “Islamic” countries falsely use Sharia to back up/promote something incorrect.

In regards to my earlier point being made about how complicated Sharia really is; I’ll give you the example of theft, there are eleven preconditions for the punishment for theft to be applied. In most cases, these preconditions aren’t met and therefore the punishment isn’t applied. What it does do, however, is scare people into not committing the crime. With that being said, Islam is a religion that will allow you to eat pork/drink alcohol/steal when in a life/death situation (i.e. starving to the point where if you don’t steal anything to eat, you will die); these acts cannot be punished as it’s Islamically applicable and allowed.

Do I like Sharia Law? Yes, I believe Sharia frees humanity to understand its potential. Sharia, meaning “pathway to be followed” is all about following the straight, balanced path that will end in eternal peace. That being said, I do believe that Muslims should not push for Sharia in non-Muslim countries because we, as Muslims and as good, moral human beings should respect the laws of the country we live in; just as our beautiful religion teaches us.

(This is a mere short summary of my views on Sharia law and a simple response to a question. I may chose to write a more detailed article on Sharia law as a whole at some point later on.)

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~The Build up of Dreams

If I could watch that blazing flame,
Ever flickering and licking those malicious lips.
See the soft sand, quiet and tame,
As it listens to the secrets on which nations were built.

If only If I could sit with those old and wise
Their knowledge beyond what people now know
Watching the perfect play that is lies
Through glass eyes that see it all
The fall
Of the empire, the secrets in the souks.
If I could hear the wondering wind whisper forgotten tales of souls past on
And listen to the monsters that destroyed those souls
The weak and the fragile, the ones now gone.

If I could clink silver goblets with the mighty men
and share a secret smile with Socrates
If I could witness the eloquence of Rumi’s poetry
And see the sea of blood and gore
Where fate was changed and altered
Forever.

If I could dance to the beat of a different drum
And sing a song to a different beat
If I could beat a different drum
My eyes would be open
-Forever.

If I could witness the slaves building the structures
as sticky sweat trickles down their bare backs
Not knowing their work will be admired for centuries

And becoming old, with time.
If I could laugh amid nervous excitement with the jesters
And witness the beautiful drama untangle
In the Cradle of Civilization on a beautiful blue day

If I could talk to the walls for their stories are many,
God knows what they have seen and heard
and talk to the trees because they know many more
As they watch the slyness of snakes in deceptive human flaw.
Because bloodshed becomes work
through the eyes of a horse in a war
And stars the ceiling for travelers at night.

And although my footsteps will always remain covered
Blanketed by the ever falling, soft, silent snow
If I could even smell the path walked on by the most beloved
My eyes would be open
~Forever

~Mishaal Javed